If today is the 4th of this month, please email ultrabold at gmail.com and remind me to pay my maintenance.

Things I Have Made In My Life So Far

Nick Soup for the Soul
Oct
23rd
Fri
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I don’t listen to Bauhaus, and I don’t give blow jobs to men.
— even Nick has his limits
Oct
16th
Fri
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Oh, you can just write them in lipstick on my shaft.
— Nick, answering a client’s question about text corrections
Oct
8th
Thu
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seriously

  • me: Nick, what are you doing?
  • Nick: [no answer]
  • me: (getting up) OK, what are you hammering?
  • Nick: sit down! I'm nailing my keyboard to the desk!
Sep
24th
Thu
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nothing weird at work today

nothing weird at work today

Aug
25th
Tue
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  • Nick: I dreamt I was in an enchanted forest and met a gnome...
  • me: what kind of gnome?
  • Nick: Chomsky.
Aug
12th
Wed
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going on vacation, so I wrote my supervisor Nick a detailed email about all the jobs in progress, which he promptly replied to.

going on vacation, so I wrote my supervisor Nick a detailed email about all the jobs in progress, which he promptly replied to.

Jul
29th
Wed
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Why do the girls in Chicks on Speed have bigger balls than the guys in Belle & Sebastian? What’s the point of a shuffle button if I hate everything?
— Nick, soul-searching
Jul
22nd
Wed
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Jul
2nd
Thu
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Look, there’s no such thing as a locavore cannibal.
— Nick, assuring me that it’s OK to “feast on the body of your coworker if you found half of her torso on the side of the road”.